Thursday, December 26, 2013

Happy Holidays

I hope everyone out there had/is having a wonderful holiday season. Mine has been pretty good. I still have those moments where I am really, really bummed out. Who wouldn't? I bared my soul to him in a way that I never do with anyone. I thought he was a keeper. Boy, was I ever wrong. I am not a good judge of character anymore, I guess. My heart gets in the way. Let this be a lesson to me...

Friday, December 20, 2013

Sadness and Confusion

I just am being pulled in 100 different directions right now. I miss a time where I was happier and freer, whenever that was. I know there were times like that in my past. Even if some of those times were just days or minutes, or in some cases months, but they were happy. I feel like this is one of those coming-of-age crises (I am almost 21). HELP!!!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

So Much For That

I guess happiness is never guaranteed. Not in life, and certainly not in love. Questioning a lot right now, like how I'm ever gonna trust again when all I ever get is abandonment. Why can't guys love me as wholly as I love them. What ever happened to commitment. Loyalty. And above all, honesty. I am so over liars. And over falling for them, a little bit harder each time. I guess I need to stop listening to my emotional, loving, giving heart....I am crying too hard to write anymore.

Friday, December 6, 2013

I Won't Give Up on Us

"I'm sending you all my love,
Still looking up,
Still looking up..."

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

My Plan

I believe in  my heart of hearts that he will come around and contact me one of these days. He has to. If not, I will do what has to be done, but I need to give it more time. Just a little more time. Then I will move forward from there.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Why did I do this to myself

Why did I give my heart so freely. Why did I do it again, and even more intensely and intimately. Why oh why. I am feeling so lost right now...

Friday, November 29, 2013


Why do I act like such a jerk. Why can't I ever leave well enough alone. Today sucks because I keep feeling like dirt and wondering if I've ruined everything. And by everything, I mean I am afraid of ending up alone again. I may just be being paranoid, but I just feel down. Totally down.