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Thursday, August 24, 2017

Random Post After 4 Years

Heyyyy world! Just dropped by because I felt like rantin'.

So what are you supposed to do when there's this wonderful guy and, like:

-He supports gun violence research
-He supports women's rights
-He supports human rights
-He supports the environment
-He is the single most gorgeous being you have ever laid eyes on
-He has the most beautiful singing voice and songs you have ever heard in your 24 years of life
-He is literally only a couple years older than you
-He obviously works hard
-He is perfect (already obvious at this point)
-He is funny
-He likes to read
-He likes burritos and pasta
-He gave you the best hug you ever felt in your life, ANDDDDD

the only problem is-

HE LITERALLY DOESN'T EVEN REALLY KNOW YOU BECAUSE HE IS FAMOUS AND LIVES MILES AND MILES AND MILES AWAY FROM YOU.

Ahem...that feels better.

But yeah if there was anything I ever used to make fun of it was the ever-dreaded Celebrity Crush. Why waste your time hung up on someone you don't even know? Well haha to me, 'cause as it turns out, your heart wants whatever the heck it wants whether or not it is what is good for you or if it makes sense. Learned that the hard way these past 5 months or so (Woohoo. Almost time for my 6-month Agony Anniversary. Don't they say a crush is love after like 4 months? I guess we are married by now. Sorry dude).

Oh, and a pro tip to anyone who thinks it is a smart idea to meet their celebrity object of affection - YEAH. IT ISN'T. It relieves NONE of the pain - it makes it grow STRONGER. I am serious. Would I lie to you? Would I be writing this right now if it had solved all my problems?

God help you if he runs up to you and hugs you for literally no reason because that is just plain weird and, again, fuels the fire. And again, is just plain weird. Some would say lucky. I say weird and confusing because. I didn't ask for it. At all...

Annnnnnyyyyway I think I'm gonna go for now and stop ranting. I may post again soon. I may not. Either way. I'm definitely going for now. See ya.

Thursday, December 26, 2013

Happy Holidays

I hope everyone out there had/is having a wonderful holiday season. Mine has been pretty good. I still have those moments where I am really, really bummed out. Who wouldn't? I bared my soul to him in a way that I never do with anyone. I thought he was a keeper. Boy, was I ever wrong. I am not a good judge of character anymore, I guess. My heart gets in the way. Let this be a lesson to me...

Friday, December 20, 2013

Sadness and Confusion

I just am being pulled in 100 different directions right now. I miss a time where I was happier and freer, whenever that was. I know there were times like that in my past. Even if some of those times were just days or minutes, or in some cases months, but they were happy. I feel like this is one of those coming-of-age crises (I am almost 21). HELP!!!

Sunday, December 8, 2013

So Much For That

I guess happiness is never guaranteed. Not in life, and certainly not in love. Questioning a lot right now, like how I'm ever gonna trust again when all I ever get is abandonment. Why can't guys love me as wholly as I love them. What ever happened to commitment. Loyalty. And above all, honesty. I am so over liars. And over falling for them, a little bit harder each time. I guess I need to stop listening to my emotional, loving, giving heart....I am crying too hard to write anymore.

Friday, December 6, 2013

I Won't Give Up on Us

"I'm sending you all my love,
Still looking up,
Still looking up..."

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

My Plan

I believe in  my heart of hearts that he will come around and contact me one of these days. He has to. If not, I will do what has to be done, but I need to give it more time. Just a little more time. Then I will move forward from there.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Why did I do this to myself

Why did I give my heart so freely. Why did I do it again, and even more intensely and intimately. Why oh why. I am feeling so lost right now...